Hellooooooo!!! I can’t believe January is almost over and yet this will just be my happy new year post! Hahaha, I’ve been busy bumming around during the vacation, because ever since I got back to work, I literally had no time to spare. My days are just so hectic that weekends became very precious to me.
It’s hard being a working mommah, that’s why I have sent in my non-renewal of contract form. Yes, I have finally decided to be a SAHM, or hopefully someday, a WAHM! However, I am still finishing my contract, I still have 4-5 months left, I think. I hope and pray it goes by quick so that I could fully take care of my little sweetheart.
My baby’s growing up so fast I can barely keep up. Each day he discovers something new. It’s amazing to see yet it also makes me feel sad at the same time when I think about how fast time flies.
Anyway… This post isn’t really about my baby. This post is about our marriage. Just like any other marriage, ours was like a roller coaster of emotions, with thousands of loops. It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was very hard for me to adjust even if I have known ny husband for half of my life.
Our married life started out so sweet. We got married while I was pregnant, he was taking very good care of me, and because of my hormones, I feel like I was swimming in a sea full of love. I was still so overwhelmed with all the love and emotions we poured out on our wedding day, that I almost forgot that no marriage is perfect.
When the baby came, we both had to adjust. Things isn’t as easy as when we only had each other. We had to compromise to a lot of things for the baby’s sake. I love my husband so much, but let me tell you something… Sometimes, I just can’t stand him. There are so many times that I wanted to run back home to my mommy’s house and go back to the life I had before, but we all know that’s not possible anymore. There are so many times that I wanted to give up.
Just last December, I was on the verge of running back home to my lola. I even told my husband about this, because I feel like this is not the life I imagined to have with him. I imagined a happy life, I imagined a carefree life. I was just waiting for our Christmas break so that my baby and I could go back to my lola’s house. I wanted some space. I wanted some time alone. I wanted to be away from my husband for some time. Our 1st wedding anniversary is just around the corner that time. One day, we had to go to Tagaytay with my family for a family event and we didn’t want them to know that our marriage was already on the rocks. We acted as if we’re okay and that night, during our family bonding, my husband sang “Swear it all over again” by Westlife. Since we weren’t in good terms that time, I couldn’t look at him in the eye, but somehow it felt that he was singing that song for me. I wanted to cry right there and then and hug and kiss him but I had to stop myself so my family won’t notice our misunderstanding.
From that night onwards, I realized that running away isn’t always the answer. I was again reminded that the vows we made and exchanged before God and our families and friends are something so sacred that we have to honor it for the rest of our lives. And that made me regret even thinking about going back home and wanting time away from husband.
I was and I still am very thankful to that family trip we took because it opened a lot of soft spots for me. It opened me up to new realizations and better understanding of how a marriage should work. And aside from that, I am thankful for my husband who never gave up on me. I may be stubborn, moody, bossy, and all other negative stuff, but my husband loves me more than enough to never let me go. He knows I’m just on my mood swings and he chose to ride with it.
We then celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary with a simple dinner at Shakey’s after my work that day. Now that we’re on to our 2nd year of marriage, I can proudly say that we have conquered the hardest part in a marriage: THE FIRST YEAR. To be honest, I can’t wait to count more years with him and our little bundle of joy.