Let me start with something that I can testify to: MARRIAGE IS NO JOKE. I’m pretty sure all married couples will agree with me on this. Life is much easier when back when you’re just in a relationship but it gets more complicated when you get married. It is full of ups and downs, a roller coaster ride of emotions, and never ending sacrifices. But how do we keep our flames on fire? How do we keep the spark alive?
With the recent arrival of a baby in a family, it’s hard to focus your attention to your spouse. All attention goes to the baby. But being husbands and wives, your quality time should not be compromised.
Keeping the love burning can be hard and demanding especially if the husband and wife are working. Work sometimes eats up all our energy that when we get home, we just want to sleep and rest. We tend to overlook the efforts exerted by our partner.
The challenge here is to make your partner feel loved and appreciated even though you are both busy with your own lives. As they say, it takes two to tango. How do we keep up in our relationship when we both have other things to do?
Lack of appreciation plays one major role in marital stress. It may seem normal that couples who work don’t have time for each other, but you should not let it go that way. Often times, we tend to focus more on what is not done than the things done by our partner.
FOR WIVES, you should know your husband very well. Most men are not vocal with their feelings. If you met your husband that way, don’t expect him to change his ways once you get married. Change does not happen overnight. It comes gradually and only if the person is willing to change.
FOR HUSBANDS, it is in a woman’s nature to try and seek appreciation from the ones they love to boost their self-esteem. Don’t look at your wife as if she’s asking for too much when she wants you to appreciate her. And if you feel a little underappreciated too, best way to do is talk to your wife.
Here’s a few tips on what you should do to make your spouse feel loved and appreciated.
- OBSERVE. Try to sit down for a while and just observe what your partner does. Is she cleaning the house? Is she taking care of the kids? Is she cooking food to put on the table? Is her working overtime to be able to provide your wants and needs? Is he enduring long hours in the traffic to get to work and to come home to you? Is he helping you with the house chores when he’s home or does he look after the kids? Try to observe these little things.
- BE GRATEFUL. Be grateful for the little things. She cooked food for you? Be grateful. He opened the can of pickles for you? Be grateful. She massaged you after a long day at work? Be grateful. He voluntarily took the kids out so you can rest for a while? Be grateful. All these little things, when they add up, take up the biggest space in our hearts.
- RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS. If you cannot be vocal, then try to at least show random acts of kindness to your spouse. By doing the chores voluntarily, by taking the initiative to cook his favorite food, by helping your spouse with what he/she’s struggling with… These actions will definitely make your husband / wife feel loved and appreciated!
Again, marriage is no joke. It is hard, but with a little love and help from each other, it will last a lifetime.