Dear 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. time moms,
We know you’ve been in our shoes once and all we ask is a little understanding from all of you. We know it’s a hard thing being a first time mom and all that, and yes you know the feeling. Being a first time mom can be a little overwhelming but please, trust us. We may be first time moms, but we don’t mean any harm to our babies. Whatever we’re doing, we’re doing it for the best for our babies.
Please understand that we are in a millenial world now and even before we have given birth to our little ones, we have read a lot of books, blogs, researches and other mommy experiences. We have prepared for this in that 9-10 months that they were still inside our tummy.
We appreciate all your unsolicited advices but please don’t take it against us when we choose not to take your advices. It might have worked on your kids, but it doesn’t mean it’s also the way we want for our kid. We know this is our first time, but please let us be a parent to our kid. After all, we all parent differently.
We don’t mean to disrespect, but we hope you understand that respect begets respect. We never questioned the way you raised your kids, what parenting strategies you used on them, so let us do the same with our kid too. If we didn’t choose to follow your advice, it is because we have our own way to raise our kid. We are the parents, anyway.
When we do something that isn’t familiar to you or something that you didn’t do with your kids (ie. breastfeeding, babywearing, tamang kain), please know that we are not doing these out of the blue. We have read and researched a lot about it. And we hope that when we explain why we are doing these (even though we don’t really owe anyone an explanation), please don’t think that we are against your choice of parenting. It’s just that we think this is the best for our kid. Please don’t misinterpret the way we explain, we just want you to know the reason why we’re doing it, what are the benefits, etc.
As we have said, respect begets respect. Not only moms to moms, but it also goes with moms to babies. If our kid is sleeping, please let him/her sleep. He/she is resting because growing up can take a lot of energy. His/her brain is also developing, and we, as their moms, don’t want to interrupt that. We all want a happy and bright kid, right? Just try to put yourselves in the shoes of our kid and think about what would you feel when you’re sleeping and someone else disrupts your sleep just because they want to play? And remember that you will not be the one to calm them down once they get cranky because they will be wanting to be with their moms.
In the end, we all just want to be good parents to our kids. You’ve had your chance to learn when you were a first time mom, let us learn, too! Thanks for all the unsolicited advices, but then again, they are unsolicited. We are not obliged to follow it so please do not get offended if we don’t take it.
With All Due Respect,
First Time Moms